Another Saturday. Another day at the restaurant. The car ride there was interesting. I was reading Sylvia Plath's autobiography
The Bell Jar (Good book so far, btw. I recommend it.) She was talking about her attempts in suicide. I flinched as I read her thoughts and her actions to kill herself... Literally flinched. I can stand seeing bloody things on tv (sometimes), but I flinch when just reading the book. The image is too clear.
At the restaurant, my mother comes up from behind and grabs my stomach fat as I'm sitting, plainly doing my homework. I get annoyed and tell her how uncomfortable that makes me feel. She laughs as if a kid and says it's to remind me that I need to lose weight. Thanks, mom. Then she walks away, still laughing. Five minutes later, she comes back with some greasy Chinese rice crispy stuff. I reject it, for I have already eaten a whole piece in the morning.... Thirty minutes later, she comes to me again with a big bowl of ice cream... I stare at the ice cream... and feel weak. I take the bowl and eat it all... Mother, how am I supposed to lose weight when you keep on feeding me all these unhealthy foods? About an hour after that, she makes me eat an orange.
Hi-point in my day... There's something like a lake behind the restaurant. Ducks like to congregate back there... and I like to join them. Today, the biggest duck, (he looks like a Roger) was quacking right outside the back door. I took a piece of bread, headed outside, and started feeding bits and pieces. Then I 'chased' it back to the lake/pond. With still a half a slice of bread in my hand... I started feeding it to the other ducks. They aren't as big... They don't even compare in size. 'Roger' is like the ultimate duck... He kinda looks like a turkey with that redness wrinkly thing on its face. The other ducks are normal... and greedy.
On my way home... I listened to music... and only 'happy-thoughts' were scrolling through my mind. I smiled.
Back at home, I cleaned the mice's cage. The black one is still paralyzed from it's waist down. It doesn't have muscles to release its feces, so it has a large buldge of where its intestines are located. I don't know what to do. I look at the pure, white one... It looks so healthy... I wonder how the black one turned out to be like this......
Dream of bunnies.
